I'm as bz as a bee... LOL!

anw, these few days, i'm a very the bz gal. haha. Hari raya haji, went to korban at mukminin. at night, we bbq the meat. yest and tdy, i went to batam. shopping.. i literally did a SHOPPING THERAPY. I bought 2 of my friends gifts, GUESS & JIMMY CHOO bags, PRADA sunglasses, CELEB watch. seriously, i think shopping is totally fun!...if u have enough money. hehehe. soo... if converted to s$, i spent $200 in Batam. =) its worth it actually.
Today is my last day at work. idk whether they goin to continue us or nt, but i want!!! ohh...
And the whole week frm 7-13 Dec, i'm holidaying! goin to KL and to Kota tinggi for homestay. cool rite? i know...;)
ohhh....Dec coming..cnt wait for BBQ with my cliques!

Adi's home! and i just talked to him. I guess we will be normal as we used to be. Idk whether to look at him as a friend, or ex-bf, or my loved one. 1 thing for sure, i do misssssssssss him aloot! and i think we, including our friends, planning bbqing in 19 dec.. hmm... let me see.. nisha's bdae on the 6 dec, adi's on 12 dec, my exams done on 16 dec...ok..great. =D

Can i be as bz as now forever?
so i won't have time to think about other things in my mind.
Can I do assignments forever?
So i will have time only to do reasearch and will have lesser time to think about social life.
Can i work as a researcher instead?
So I won't have any time to think about love life, you.

I don't know. seriously, i've been trying to forget about u. and i nearly succeed when u did not call me for several days. U said its because ur ppd is low, but i knw, deep down inside, u're helping me to forget about u. I don't have time to really think about anything else, except for my assignment and grp projects with the due date nearing. And at work too, i'm bz doing research instead of really working. Do u see how much effort i put in just to forget about u?

Yeah, my friends say u don't deserve me. I deserve a better guy than u. Even Nisha was shouting indirectly to wake me up. Literally wake me up. I did, but i still prefer to be in my dream. My heart refuse to wake up.

In the dream, it was u and me. It was only us. and we're still together like before. Like we never had been. We love each other. And i'm always praying the dream won't fade away. Too bad. dream is just a dream. It really faded away, when u say ur love for me has faded away too. I felt bad. I felt bad because i'm still dreaming of u. I'm still hoping for u in silence. I hate myself because i am still loving u. how i wish i can tell u that i have forgotten about u one day. impossible. really. I knw my heart.

I'm hurting terribily. I know u don't care, and i don't want u to care. let me console myself, like before. I'm used to it. kn?

I miss u. I miss u damn much. u're coming back tmr. and that makes me feel worst. I'm gonna see u, talk to u, sms u everyday. can i forget about u? i doubt so. And when i look at u longer than usual, just keep quiet and dont ask. I'm scared i might burst out crying.

today is a relaxing day!
Went to Vivocity with my gfs. =) our promise as 12pm, but I and Nisha reached at 1230pm.. hehe..
After that, we went to have Brunch. hee. =) After that, we bought tix for Paranormal Activity, 1420 show.
Paranormal Activity was damn effing scary lah! especially for the last 5 mins. everyone was screaming out loud, and that includes me! haha..seriously, it was full of suspense. and at last, the guy got killed.. after that, we was trembling sia... haha..my leg felt like jelly. LOL. =D
Then we chilled around, eating puff, and off I and frannie go home. Nisha goin to watch PA again wit her bf in the evening. heee....=)

In 5 more days, Adi will be back to Singapore. I'm looking forward for it because i miss him. But i'm not looking forward for it because i know, i'm no longer in his heart.

PU3, WAKE UP FROM DREAM!!!

ok, this week is hell. seriously, i'm like rushing from here to there. heh. thats the consequences of working and schooling at the same time. very hectic. but but but... we manage to do our grp assignment ontime. so yest alrdy sent in out softcopy. and our presentation will be nxt tue, 8.10pm. wish me gd luck!!!
So... my assignment for Ms Maha's paper done! printed! and due date will be nxt wk. =)
Next is Econ's assignments... aiya... i'm really tired... -_-

Finally...
the grp project for ms maha's class is goin to end soon. left for some referencing and some reading to do. oh, nut can't be too happy first. Putri, u haven't start both ur individual assignments right? and its due like in 2 more weeks? grr... oh, and there's another grp project.. economic's. but i think that's easier actually. and i chose healthcare to be my topic... coz i think healthcare is the IN thing right nw. diseases are anywhere.... =)

so anw, yest gt to talk to adi 2 times. well, at work, he called me. and at night, he called. we talked bout my bro... he dropped to NA after 2 yrs in EXP. but then, I fed-up with him coz he was like siding him. and i just told him we cn talk about this when we meet. easier. and ya knw what?? he said "bye" and slammed dwn the phone. WTH!! its nt like i cn call him bck... urgh! i hope he call me today. i dont wanna hang up the phone in an angry way. haiix...

anw, i think i'm reorganizing my things... I gonna list out everything i have to do. and when its done, i will erase them off. I think this way it will make my life pretty easier. =)

Pms pms pms pms pms pms

ok, this weekend, specifically sunday, i have to start my indivual assignment research first. hm... 3 assignments waiting for me... grrrrrrr! i can go insane trying to organise my daily schedule. haiyo. I'm damn tired. don't ask me whyy. idk either. btw yest went to JB to catch mly movie, PISAU CUKUR and eat. 11pm i reached home. now, i brought my lappy to work to do assignment. and i feel like time is nt flying at all. damn slow lah. idk whyy but i hate this week. i feel like everything is nt right.tonite i have economic class. my so not fav. -_-

ok, today went towork without umbrella. stupid me! no, wrong word. forgetful me! urgh! so i was stuck at the house bus stop for 15 mn before i decided to just walked thru the rain with my jacket and hoodies. =)
And i straight away had a hot shower. hehe.. i'm nt gonna fall sick... no way.

Is he ok there? he got his R&R. I hope he behaved well. I knw how he behaved. like seriously. He didnt called me for like 2 days. what's he doin? ok, stop thinking bout him. its over. Pu3, accept the fact aite. ='(

hmm... been a long freaking time since i watched movies. every little things will remind me of him. damn seh.
anyway, yesterday I dragged francine to a PSORIASIS talk in Sgh. it ends at 4pm. after that, we walked around for a moment and went to mrt with taxi. Met Nisha and Shalini t dhobygaut. We went to plaza singapura.planned to watch movie, so we queued for the movie first. and we got the 1840pm tix for JENNIFER"S BODY. hmm..after that, had our dinner and off Shalini went, home.
So the 3 of us went to cinema. well, it start freaking late though. I really hate the visa card advertisement. Was puking when i saw that. ok, crap. =)
Anw, it started at 7pm. and by the time its 9pm, our legs quite wobbly. and to make things interesting, Nisha screamed 3 times in the cinema. and hers is the loudest. haha. Nisha, please dont watch horror movies alone. =)
So, during the show, Adi called and say hi. thats all.
And i reach home at 10pm. =) nt late right? hehe...
And today, i got my first pay for j.e librian..that is $344, but i payed my mum my debt, and i hold $144. after that, got my tutoring pay...$80. hmph. another half was given to agent sia. nt fair! nvm, nxt mth will be 160 bucks. =)

Now deep down inside
you know, it cuts like a knife
But i'm too proud to show it
Pain in my chest
like i lost my breath
but he just doesn't know it
So many things that i'm just dying to say
But i can't seem to tell him

Its killing me, toknow that he wants to leave
But i'm not gonna beg him to stay
cause i got my pride, I'm not gonna cry
There won't be no tears falling from these eyes
Don't need her to see, that its killing me
So this is what I'll say

You don't have to wory about me
Boy i'll be fine
You don't have to call me again
Boy its alright
you don't have to ask me if i will be okay
Boy i'll be fine
By i'll be fine

You ain't gotta tell me we can still be friends
you ain't gotta make excuses and pretend
Cause i'll be fine
Say i'll be fine
There's no need to call

Its better if we don't speak at all...

Now i can't believe, that i feel so deep
And i let my heart so open
now i gotta try, to keep it inside
These words, are better left unspoken

Its been awhile since i see u. since i hug u. and since i kissed u. And now, i'm counting down to the day u'll be coming back to singapore. How i wish time will stop before that too. so i wont have to feel the pain and hurt when i see u again.


Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang telah hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

selama mata terbuka
samai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun
Aku mampu untuk mengenangku

darimu, ku temukan hidupku
bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
adalah yang terbaik untukmu
kan ku jadikan kau kenangan
yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupmu
yang telah terukir abadi
sebagai kenangan yang terindah

Its time to let u go, isnt it? because i have hung on u for so long till ur love became a pity for me. and yeah, at last u told me the truth. ur love for me has faded away.
How am i going to leave without u?
All this while, my decision in almost everything, i look upon u and my mum. and now... who is going to replace u?
The fact is, nobody can replace u. At least for now. I dont know how long I will take in order to move on, coz the hurt of breaking up with 3 of my ex bf before u is not as pain as this. But breaking up with u, it felt like being stabbed alot of times deeply till my heart broke into half. I dont know how to react when i see u after this. i dont know how to say anything when u call me after this. and i dont know how to react if we were to hang out with our friends. for sure, my tears will roll down. but if can, i dont wanna u see it. even though i'm nt independent, but i think i'm strong enough.
Yeah, i am typing this with my tears flowing heavily. My tears of disappointment. My tears of heartbroken.

I'd rather u not coming back to Singapore, if u will just tell me that i am no longer in ur heart.

yeah, u know it hurts deep inside. u know how it feels. yet, u still did it. u know i can't live without u, yet u leave me alone.
And u decided that between us, there will be no 2nd chance to be given. And it felt like u just stabbed me deeply in my heart.
Its time to let u go then. hope u're happy with ur decision. I tried to change, and i think its working out, but u decided too soon to see my changes. u promised, didnt u? Dan sebagai umat Islam, dengan apa yang i baca buku2 agama kt library, ORANG ISLAM HARUS MENGOTAKAN JANJINYA KEPADA SESIAPA SAHAJA.

Once upon a time, there was a princess living peacefully at Bukit Batok. She had her daily routines... go to school, reached home, bath, tv, sleep. One lucky day, she met someone. Someone who is emo. And that someone was a guy. A guy who she thinks... nt her taste. And there they went. They contact each other. And their first date was National Library.
So, it went on. They were comfortable with each other. And...

220209
They declare themselve in a relationship. It was at Simei. And they hoped they will last long. and they're happy.

but...

071009
She don't want to accept it. She can't accept the fact, the reality. But he can. And he did accept the fact, the reality. Because he's the one who made the decision. He's the one who can't stand her attitude anymore. He's the one who leave her. And he doesnt show any emotions, except anger. She's heartbroken. It felt like someone stabbing her heart with a knife. She didnt know what to do. She's lost and confuse. and she didnt like that.

and till now...
She still love him. She still waiting for him. She tried to open her heart for someone else, yet, nobody can take over his place. She's too comfortable with him alrdy. And she hope, when he comes back from Wallaby, he's going to say the words she's waiting for.

Thats the story of the princess. How does it end?

To be continued...

yesterday nite, went to sci centre for Halloween night. Tell u what, if u have some heart or chronic illness, u better dont go. serious. heeeee...
ok, we start off the day by meeting at J.e interchange. and then proceed to sci cntre. hmm... we bought the tix..which cost $8. hm...worth it. serious.

so... the trail stats at 7pm. we had to go grp by grp. so 4 o us, nisha, frannie, jess and me..
and it was a mummy at first. jumping out from the "house". and nisha surrendered to them. LOL! gosh, it will be a long story to tell mann...

in conclusion, we had FUN! seriously!!!